I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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