That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize