he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
