Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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