just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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