Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We're too hungover to prance.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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