Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
