I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
