who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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