I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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