Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
