I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
