Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
