I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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