I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize