I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
