Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you will always have a special place in my vag
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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