I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
