i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize