i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
sex in a hospital.. check
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
