Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize