sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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