You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
