I wannas sexs uuuuu
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
