last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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