My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
