if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize