whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
