Can i not drive my cunt home
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
