I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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