Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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