I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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