i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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