Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
