If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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