Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
