i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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