Can Purell be used as lube?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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