So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
