I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
honey bunches of taint.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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