Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
