Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
