I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
