OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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