dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Are we still banned from the library?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
