She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
