Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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