shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
