I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
