Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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