I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
