Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize