Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
