Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
that may or may not have been my penis.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize