ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
