Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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