He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Me too!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize