I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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