Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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