I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
