Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
did you just send me my own nude
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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