oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We need to rekindle our bromance
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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