But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
