We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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