ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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