So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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