I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
