similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
