what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
