Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
