I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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