I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
