Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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