Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
