So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
