I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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