Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
