i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
